Winter Solstice and Holiday Season

During the holiday season we look around and from the outside it is all about shopping, presents, overeating and day to day routines. Busy, busy, busy.

What about the inside? What is happening on the inside? When we look past the physical body and look at the invisible part of ourselves. The spirit part of ourselves. Or the spiritual part. The essence of who we really are.

What is happening there? My guess is, not too much. Why?

Because that part of us needs some solitude, some quiet time, some reflection time.  What are you doing to feed that part of yourself?

Are you meditating, reflecting, listening to the silence? Doing something that feeds your soul?

Our present society is divorced from nature. We are so out of touch with Mother Earth and so out of touch with ourselves as a result.

December 21 is the Winter Solstice in the Northern Hemisphere. It marks the beginning of winter, the shortest amount of daylight, the lowest arc of the sun, and the return of longer daylight hours in the days, weeks and months to come. It is the time of hope for it promises the renewal and rebirth of all things.

The Winter Solstice supports us to go inside and listen to ourselves and to nature. Think of ways you and your family can acknowledge the power and beauty of Mother Earth, and how you can help to keep it as clean and healthy as possible for our future generations.

Cold winter is the time of inwardness and self-reflection when all of nature seems dead. Yet, the Winter Solstice carries hope for new birth and a fresh beginning. Winter is one of the seasons of the rhythms of Mother Earth. The rhythms that we have stopped listening to or relating to.

As Mother Earth nurtures us, so the Sun nurtures Mother Earth. Many people forget that life on Earth is totally dependent upon the energy of the Sun. Without the Sun’s warmth and light, there would be no life as we know it. Everything is so connected.

As we acknowledge the rhythms of Mother Earth and the Sun and the Moon, we will be more connected to ourselves. I encourage you to acknowledge the Winter Solstice and listen to what your body wants to do.

Do you need to sleep, slow down, take a break, meditate, reflect or just be still for a while? I highly encourage you to breathe and take time to listen both to yourself and to Mother Earth. There is such tranquility there. Serenity, peace, harmony, flow, wisdom, love and joy are all waiting for you. Take some time out to experience it.

Happy Holidays and Winter Solstice,

Charlene

The Most Awesome Squash Soup You’ll Ever Taste

It is winter time and it is cold outside now. Time for some hot soup. Here is a wonderful squash soup. A great crowd pleaser.

Ingredients:

3 cups broth (chicken or veg)
1 butternut squash
1 sweet potato
1 apple
1/4 cup salted butter (preferably grass fed)
1/2 cup coconut milk (optional)
1/2 tsp green curry paste
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp ginger
1/4 tsp cumin
1/4 tsp garlic
1 tsp salt (or more to taste)
pepper to taste

Directions:

1. Cook squash, sweet potato, and apple in oven until soft inside.
2. Add ingredients to blender or Vitamix in the order they appear.
3. Blend and serve or pour into a pot and keep warm until ready to serve.

Enjoy!

To your good health,
Charlene

Making a Living While You’re Looking for a Job

While plenty of good jobs do exist, it could take you some time to land just the right one. In the meantime, here are a few tips on how to make ends meet while you’re looking for a job opportunity.

Workplace Stress

It may be a good idea to ease back into a full-time job by starting with something part-time or on the side. Take time for self-care by eating healthy, taking breaks and getting some exercise. If you feel like the stress will be too much to handle, use some of the tips in the Self-Care Checklist for Mental and Physical Health to help you out while looking for a job.

Pet Sitting

One of the best ways to get some income flowing in while you’re looking for a job is to start a side gig where you are only dependent on yourself for success. This lets you avoid the stress that comes with a regular job until you are a little more settled. One of the more popular side gigs that you’ll find is starting a pet sitting business. This is different than dog walking. Pet sitting involves becoming the primary caregiver for an animal while its owners are away. It typically involves making sure they are fed and watered along with playing with them for a bit. Some owners even want sitters to spend the night to take care of their pets. Here are a few guidelines to starting your own pet sitting business.

Sell Handmade Items on Etsy

If you are crafty and good with your hands, another side hustle that may work well for you is selling handmade items on Etsy, an online marketplace that allows creative people to sell their goods to anyone willing to buy. You can start your own business fairly easily, and as long as you offer something of unique value, you should make enough money to keep the business running well. The site includes thousands of handmade, vintage and one-of-a-kind products and gifts. Many shops will even customize orders, so offering this kind of service will serve you well.

Teach Musical Lessons

Another common side gig is teaching musical lessons. This, of course, requires that you know how to play an instrument or sing well enough to pass your knowledge on. If this sounds like you, check out these tips for getting started on building your own music teaching studio. This is a great business to get into because it gives people a skill that lasts for a lifetime, which is always a popular offering.

If these side jobs don’t fit you well, don’t stress – there are dozens more out there. You are only limited by your imagination, so if you have a good idea for your own business, now is the time to talk to an entrepreneur coach about it. The coach will help you find something you like and stick with it until that dream opportunity comes along.

Guest Blogger,

Rufus Carter

The Art of Listening

In this very distracted world, the art of listening is becoming more and more important. Listening is the act of receiving a communication message. We hear with our ears but listening requires concentration. Listening can happen at many levels. Our brain can process the meaning, our heart can process the feeling aspect, and our gut can process the unspoken part, the intuitive aspect. Our eyes are important as well in listening and ultimately, if we are good listeners, we listen with our whole body.

Interesting that the whole body shows up in Albert Mehrabians’s 7-38-55 rule of communication. It indicates that the body language is the predominant factor in communication.

• 55% by body language
• 38% by voice and tone
• 7% by the content or the words spoken

So back to the listening aspect of communication. How to you feel if while communicating to another, the listener pulls out their phone and starts to text? You certainly don’t feel heard and probably feel hurt or worthless on some level. On the other hand, if the listener held eye contact and held the space for you to talk, you would feel worthy, safe and like you matter.

As children probably 97% of us experienced things that left us feeling incomplete. So, we grow up with all sorts of insecurities. When we are in communication with another human being, on an unconscious level what we are really looking for is love, acceptance, being liked for who we are, and a sense of safety. As humans we are looking for connection with other humans and we want to matter. Being connected to other people is the essence of being alive. It’s all about relationship.

So really listening is very important and can be very healing. There are different ways of listening.

• ignoring – not listening at all
• pretend listening
• selective listening
• attentive listening
• the fifth level of listening can be called empathic or active listening

This is where the listener is aware that their mind is reacting in different ways to what they are hearing and are constantly bringing their attention back to the conversation. The focus is 100% on the being who is speaking.

Pointers for empathic or active listening

• Communication involves respect for the human who is speaking and giving them the opportunity to say what they want even though this may be contrary to your beliefs and ideologies.
• Making eye contact.
• Being sensitive to the speaker’s wants, needs and issues.
• Being attentive to what the speaker is saying by really listening with your whole body.
• Not interrupting or fidgeting.
• Being aware that your facial and body language is in a receptive state.
• Not preparing a response while the speaker is talking.
• Paying attention to non-verbal clues or hints.
• Being curious.
• Being present.
• Being transparent.
• Creating trust and openness.

Our world needs so much healing on so many levels. Active or empathic listening could change the world, one conversation at a time.

To your success,

Charlene Day

What is Ontological Coaching?

Self awareness and self-understanding lie at the heart of living a more fulfilled life. Ontological coaching is the fastest path to growth in these areas.

Ontological coaching is aimed at helping people live authentic and fulfilling lives. It is a type of coaching based on the philosophical study of the nature of being, ontology.  Ontology looks at what exists, what is true, and what is real. Ontology is also the study of how we determine if things exist or not, as well as the classification of existence. It explores the human condition and can train us to choose the best way of being at any given moment.  Ontological coaching can support us in achieving our goals and creating a new way of being.

Ontological coaching addresses the multi-dimensional nature of humans as biological, linguistic, emotional, somatic, along with our unique culture and history. It is very holistic in its approach with a biology, ecology, and mindfulness approach. Language, emotions and body are encompassed and there must be shifts in all three areas to integrate the change.

Our perception of the “truth” influences what we think and what we can know. Therefore, it is important to develop options and choices, that we may not have thought of without some guidance. Ontological coaching helps us to notice our existing patterns, practices, distinctions, assumptions, worldviews and concerns by creating a space for that awareness.

“This is so important because our subconscious mind is full of paradigms—those complex and habitual memorized behavioral patterns, emotional reactions, assumptions, values, perceptions, attitudes, beliefs or scripts that can act as filters to our experiences. Paradigms are deeply entrenched habits in our subconscious and guide our behavior and how we make choices. Our paradigms or beliefs control our perception, effectiveness, productivity, our ability to earn money, and much more. What we don’t realize is that our subconscious mind operates this programming for us approximately 96% of the time. It is running the show, so our lives are created mostly from our subconscious programming on autopilot. It is like an internal map or blueprint that must match the outside world. If we are not cultivating new habits, the old ones run automatically (even without our knowing it).” 30 Laws of Flow

Ontological coaching seeks to challenge our presuppositions and helps us to recognise that what we think of as ‘truth’ is usually nothing more than learned narratives. Our narratives and stories are usually expressed in the things we say as well as our beliefs and values; but they are often silent, invisible and in the background of everyday conversations. They also have an emotional and somatic dimension and can be major barriers to the change we desire.

Ontological coaching expands our capacity to choose. It is a means of producing major shifts in perception and behavior through all aspects of communication. No longer are we driven by our paradigms, beliefs, perceptions, attitudes assumptions, our views of the world, our “default” behaviors; instead we have the freedom to choose who we wish to be. This capacity enables us to accomplish our goals, to deepen our relationships, and to live a life that is full and rewarding in a more connected world.

Ontological coaching observes how we use language, what emotions are shaping our interpretation of the world, how we move through space, all the time facilitating our awareness of what we were previously blind to. It’s so obvious that we don’t see our presuppositions. In other words, we are blind to our blindness. We need someone “outside ourselves” to help us see what we cannot see – to reveal our cognitive blindness.

Ontological coaching will help expand your possibilities, increase your capacity to learn, act more effectively and better design your future.

For more information on Ontological coaching, please contact me.

To your success,

Charlene Day

“Just as you grow into the world, the world grows into you. Not only do you occupy a certain place, but that place, in turn, occupies you. Its culture shapes the way you see the world, its language informs the way you think, its customs structure you as a social being.” Costica Bradatan

Gratitude and Happiness Revealed – How to be Grateful

We just celebrated Thanksgiving Day in Canada, and it always the perfect time to be reminded about gratitude. It is wonderful when we become aware of something, then we notice it everywhere. Being reminded of the vibration of gratitude is always wonderful. A reminder to be mindful and in the present moment, to reconnect with our inner being or soul, to be connected with a universe that celebrates life and that we are all connected, all one. In this, happiness is revealed.

I discovered the TEDxSF video by Louie Schwartzberg on Gratitude. Please take a few minutes to watch this amazing video on gratitude.

By happy coincidence, I was reading the chapter on gratitude from The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace Wattles. So, gratitude is in the air around Thanksgiving.

As this video suggests, we have so much to be grateful for; each day we are here, our precious life, so much.

It is easy to notice that people who live from a place of gratitude, experience more of life’s goodness. With the natural principle that action, and reaction are always equal, what we put out, comes back to us. When we feel gratitude, the universe sends it back.

As Wallace Wattles says, “It is necessary, then, to cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you; and to give thanks continuously. This will bring you into harmonious relations with the good in everything, and the good in everything will move toward you.”

As we all are working for a better life, this video is a great reminder to cultivate the attitude of gratitude daily.

I wish for you a day filled with gratitude and continues daily! Feel free to check out the meditation on The Law of Gratitude if you want a daily reminder.

To your success!

Charlene

10 Ways to Get Attitude Shifts

Most people let outside circumstances, other people, conditions, and environment control their attitude. We don’t want the outside world to control us. We want the control. When we choose to control our attitude, we can respond to life rather than react to it. When our attitude shifts everything shifts. In this post, I’ll cover 10 ways to shift your attitude and discuss what attitude is.

William James said, “Human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.” The only thing we have total control over is our attitude shifts.

Ask any successful person what tops the list of priorities for a successful life and they will tell you having the proper attitude.

Zig Ziglar said, “It is your attitude, not your aptitude, that determines your altitude.”

So, what is attitude?

Attitude is the composite of your thoughts (the activity of your conscious mind), your feelings (the activity of your sub-conscious mind), and your body, the material medium where your actions produce results. This is where behaviors show up.

1. Clement Stone said, “There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.”

All thoughts, feelings and actions are a form of energy that we express. Our thoughts charged with emotion set up a vibration in the body that will cause us to act. The universe will respond with a vibration in harmony with the one put out by us. So, if our attitude is positive we will attract a similar positive vibration and we will obtain a positive result. The same is true with the negative attitude.

So, what are these 10 ways to get attitude shifts?

1. Believe you can change your attitude, break old habits, make the choice to change your vibration.
2. Respond rather than react, change the way you look at a situation.
3. Become aware of what enters your consciousness and choose the positive.
4. Be aware of all the attitude components, the thoughts or beliefs, the feelings or the behavioral aspects and watch for any cognitive dissonance (holding two conflicting ideas) especially in the subconscious and the conscious minds.
5. Monitor your internal dialogue and change the words or phrases to positive ones.
6. Work with your strengths and delegate responsibilities that frustrate your attitude.
7. Ask yourself penetrating questions to break the negative state and get you to think differently.
8. Hang out with positive and inspiring people and model them.
9. Live in alignment with your values.
10. Count your blessings – have an attitude of gratitude.

Keeping your attitude positive is the fastest way to live the life of your dreams.

To your success!

Charlene

To read other blogs about Attitude:

• 10 Ways to Shift Your Attitude
• 10 Foolproof Tips to Protect Your Mental Health